Today was intended to be the start of a new me. A new, motivated, practical and determined me.
This started with the first trial of my new diet plan, (because apparently I've gotten so fat that my mother thinks I'm pregnant, go figure). I decided to go for the easy way out, a notarealdiet approach to start me off. Enter the slim-fast plan, a shake and snack bar oriented thing, where you replace meals with a shake or a snack bar and have one 600 calorie meal at dinner time. In the supermarket yesterday I perused the shelves for a good 5 minutes, trying to decide whether to go for individual bottles, the cheaper, powder option or cartons. In the end I went for the big tub of allegedly chocolate flavour powder. Last night was the last supper, a deliciously not sensible pie and boiled potatoes, with lashings of gravy. And oh god do I miss it already, when this morning I wake up, deliberating over the shake or snack bar - actual food options. Since I eat the snack bars as just snacks anyway, I gave the "chocolate shake" a go. 2 scoops into 250 ml of milk, stir well. Now with a their "chocolate flavour" advertising, one would expect said shake to taste of something resembling chocolate, not the case. At all. Let's just say that it is at least partly drinkable if I hold my nose, to keep at bay the cardboard after taste that accompanies it as it sloshes down your throat. I'm not hopeful that the strawberry one will be much better. Please forgive me if I sound like the pages you skip in any women's magazine, but if it's supposed to help me loose weight, and conform to the British health standards, then why doesn't it taste nice? I think I'm in for a depressing few months if this shake is going to be my primary food group.
Today I am supposed to be writing a screenplay. 18 pages in total and due for Wednesday at 11am, I have not started said screenplay and I have had around 6 weeks in which to do it. This is not a good thing. I have had a complete lack of inspiration, and I feel like I literally have no good ideas, which is problematic when the majority of my coursework for this year relies of creative output. Where are my muses?! Also, I feel I can write off at least a week and half a couple of weeks ago, which I barely remember and staggered through, zombie-like in a complete state of numbness. It was the strangest thing, feeling numb and upset in waves for 10 days for what felt like no reason at all. Thankfully, that seems to have ebbed away slightly, and I can somewhat function like a human being again, capable of conversation and interaction, which was beyond me a fortnight ago. Literally about all I was able to do was go through set tasks, 1. Go to work, ok done. 2. Survive the weekend at work with that tingly about to cry feeling in your nose, ok.... just about managed, with only the prospect of looking like a total loon in front of my new employer and colleagues keeping normality on the surface. 3. Being normal with boyfriend.... well, this one was a bit of an issue, but he broke me at about day 10 in to a bubbly mess, and partly I have him to thank for pulling me out of it. Boyfriend points... why yes.
What a miserable little person I sound like today. But then again, since I have a total of zero readers, then I suppose no one is going to mind much if I treat this like a dear diary and ramble on. Mostly this is a therapeutic exercise, to stretch those writing muscles and practise the actual act of getting words on a page so that I can get my assignment done. Will it work, I suppose we shall see.
In good news, I got my copy of Will Grayson, Will Grayson today, I ordered it about 2, maybe 3 weeks ago, and since it had to be shipped from the good old USA, I suspect the Icelandic volcanic ash problem delayed it getting to me somewhat. This book will be kept as a treat until I get my homework done, which will hopefully be another motivating factor.
You know how I was going to be all new and motivated today? Well it's 13.03pm, and I am still in my pyjamas... Maybe that motivation thing wont work out for today after all.
edit: I have one follower, hiya hello&goodbye, you followed me literally as I was proclaiming I have no readers. :)
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